Nostalgia for our Future [Dane]

[Moriel Sarid]

In some ways, it seemed that Dane had only just settled in at the lighthouse, but over the past months, he had become such a strong fixture around the home, that it seemed much longer as well. Mori had fallen into a nice routine, growing accustomed to being around people much faster than he had expected. In the early mornings, he made coffee and Angie was usually awake soon after, insisting upon making some intricate breakfast she'd learned to make, oh, God-knows-where. Germany. Russia. Belgium. The three of them would sit and eat together.

In the late morning, he caught a nap in the observation room. Dane would be off, reading, perhaps, or brooding. They would sit around, talk. Moriel would ramble on about history and his children, grandchildren, places he'd been. He would apologize for talking so long, and Dane would just give him this look that made his stomach twist and he'd have to leave to catch his breath. He would take a walk with Angela, go to meetings if he had any. She would go out and party with friends, and he would rest again until Dane finally fell asleep.

Though he was often tired and would never admit to it, that was Mori's favorite part of the day. He would sit on the edge of Dane's bed, stroke his hair until his expression went calm. Then he moved to the armchair beside the bed and looked on, let himself stop worrying about these feelings and just feel them for a while. Before sunup, he was back in his own room for an hour's sleep before breakfast.

[dane brock evans]

Dane found that he liked living in the Lighthouse with Mori. There was something about it that gave him a calming effect and he liked that. He needed the peace after what he had been through and for some reason he didn't think it was the place, but rather the company. He looked forward to talking with Mori. Sure, some people might find it weird that they had gotten so close... or maybe it was only Dane that found that weird. He wasn't sure. His head was all confused and kind of messed up more than he thought it should be. He swore more of this was from other things than the war, he just couldn't put his nose on what.

Since Mori had showed him the lantern room, he basically never left. He couldn't get enough of the room... it was like there was a gravitational pull for him that made him want to be there. It was gorgeous and it just felt like... a beginning. He wasn't quite sure why though. Maybe it was something about being able to see so much. It being the Beacon of light to guide you through something... fog, rain, anything. It was there, and Dane needed a light to guide him. Yet whenever he thought that, Moriel seemed to just... show up. He wasn't sure what was happening. Everything just felt different. He felt different. He was beginning to get his own personality back. He was beginning to figure out who he was. He was losing some of the mean, tough guy act that he had brought from the war. It seemed to mostly be with Moriel though. He could loosen up if he tried hard and focused. When he did that... the image of Mori was in his mind. He didn't want to let him down.

Dane was sleeping better at night. The nightmares still came, but they never lasted. It felt like he had someone watching over his dreams and making it so he wasn't feeling them. He slept so well now, and he couldn't be happier. He wasn't sure why he was... but he wasn't about to question it. He wanted it more than anything. It felt nice to feel almost normal. To feel like he wasn't a total freak. He wasn't sure why they were going away... but he wanted them to stay away.

[Moriel Sarid]

That evening, Moriel found himself on the couch downstairs, watching a film with Dane. Angela was out dancing, he believed. He had slowly developed an appreciation for the movies. When he thought back to their origins, silent images of waves on a beach, it really was amazing. They were watching Casablanca, which he'd seen a few times before and found quite enjoyable. It was late, though, and he wasn't entirely surprised when Dane nodded off.

At that point, he'd stopped paying attention to the movie and instead stroked his hair and studied his face. Angela came home a bit later, and Mori jerked his hand away, stood up. He realized belatedly that the credits were already rolling. "I suppose it's bedtime," he had announced a bit too loudly. "İyi akşamlar, fistiğim. Seni seviyorum."

Now, hours later, he sat in the chair beside Dane's bed, watching over him yet again. Of course, he hadn't gotten to rest before bed as usual, so something rather unusual happened. He nodded off. Seated in that soft armchair, his wings hanging over the sides of the arms, his head tilted forward and his eyes slipped shut. He slept.

[dane brock evans]

Dane and Mori had decided to watch a film, but Dane actually couldn't remember the ending to it. All he remembered was falling asleep. It was kind of late and he was tired, so he kind of just fell asleep. He woke up whenever the film ended, he supposed and went upstairs to his bed. He didn't, however change into his normal bed clothing, so he wasn't surprised when he rolled around in his bed hours later only to determine he wasn't comfortable and that he needed to change into his just his boxers like he normally did. Well... that or pajama pants but that seemed like too much effort right now.

He climbed out of bed blindly and started stripping off his clothes, just leaving them on the ground with the belief that he would pick them up in the morning. When he turned back around however, he saw the body sitting in the arm chair next to his bed, sleeping. "Shit!" Dane practically screamed and fell backwards from the shock. That was definitely Mori... but why was he in Dane's room sleeping while Dane was sleeping. And why did it look like he fell asleep watching Dane. "M-Mori?"

[Moriel Sarid]

He awoke with a jerk, nearly falling out of the chair. It was a startling way to wake, and why was Mori waking up anyway? That would imply he had been asleep! His eyes went wide and he looked up, getting an eyeful of a very awake, very naked Dane. "I'm terribly sorry!" he panicked, scrambling to his feet. Moriel averted his eyes, trying to give Dane some privacy.

"I was just - you were - ah, you had nightmares - um, a nightmare - so I just - I must have nodded off by mistake, I truly apologize. I'll just - I'll leave." Mori didn't think he'd ever been more flustered or more humiliated in his life. There was no good way to explain this away. He had become what he had worried he might: the creepy old angel that took in a vulnerable young man and behaved inappropriately.

Moriel shook his head and started moving around the bed, but stopped because naked Dane was between him and the door. "I should just, if you'll let me by, I'll just- I'll go."

[dane brock evans]

Dane's face scrunched into that of confusion. He was having a nightmare? But Dane didn't remember a nightmare... he actually thought it was kind of quiet tonight and he liked that. BUt then again... it had been quiet in his mind for awhile now when he slept and holy shit. Dane's eyes widened and he covered his junk as he realized what was going on. Mori was the one that was making his nightmares go away? Dane thought he might pass out. He really did. His mouth opened and then shut again as he quickly stood up, still holding his junk. "You've been..." Dane started but he wasn't sure how he could finish. "You've done this before. Haven't you." Dane decided to say instead. It made sense. All those nights, Dane felt like someone was there... and there was.

He took a shaky breath and looked up at Mori, he wasn't one for modesty. Sometimes you had to do what you had to in the military. He wasn't shy about his body or anything. Maybe that's why he decided it was a good idea to walk to Mori and wrap his arms tightly around Mori's middle. It might be kind of creepy... but it was kind of the nicest thing any one has ever done for him.

[Moriel Sarid]

It felt like a rock had fallen into his stomach as Dane put the pieces together. He cringed at the accusation. "Yes," he admitted, nodding and looking downward. "Yes, I-"

But then his eyes snapped up very quickly because something else had moved into his line of sight and was moving toward him alarmingly rapidly. For a moment, he worried that he would be hit by the nephilim - which he would certainly understand. But instead, he felt strong arms wrap around him and the bare heat of another body against his chest. His eyes went wide. Mori froze. He didn't understand what was happening, why Dane would have this sort of reaction, why he would have it before dressing himself.

Practicing his self-control very, very carefully, Moriel slowly regained his senses. His arms, which had been held out awkwardly, slowly came in to pat at Dane's shoulder and back. He hoped this hug would end before he had an inappropriate reaction. "I...thought you would be upset," he explained, sounding confused. "So why..." Why was he hugging him? Did Dane understand what he had been trying to do? Certainly he didn't understand the feelings that had fueled his actions.

[dane brock evans]

Okay so Dane maybe should be angry at the angel, but it wasn't like Mori was trying to do something to hurt Dane... he was just trying to help. They did help. Why would Dane be mad at Mori for doing what he had been doing for the entire duration of Dane's stay at the lighthouse. "I should be. Because it's kind of creepy... but it's you..." Dane whispered, still holding onto the angel as tight as he possibly could. "You've been the one the entire time. Whenever I started to have a nightmare... you always got rid of it." Dane continued, still in disbelief that Mori was actually the cause of him not getting nightmares anymore.

He coughed awkwardly and let go of Mori hesitantly before going over to his dresser and pulling on a fresh pair of boxers. "It was always you." Dane didn't know how much better he could have picked someone to stay with. No one would look after Dane the way Mori was. Dane owed Mori so much, and he wasn't sure how he was going to ever repay him for everything he's done. "It's still creepy, by the way. But it's sweet."

[Moriel Sarid]

The angel flushed, clearing his throat as soon as Dane released him. Creepy. Of course it was. He couldn't quite ascertain how his friend felt about this new development. He was saying it was creepy, that he should be angry about it, and at the same time...it almost sounded like gratitude. It made no sense. "I couldn't just...let you suffer," he murmured. "You needed to sleep, to really rest..." He sighed and continued to avert his eyes even now that Dane was decent.

It was always you. There was something about the way he said those words that made him feel strange...hopeful, even. Mori's expression was torn and humbled and something else that was rather unclear, even to him. "I figured it out by accident," he told Dane. "I came to wake you from a nightmare, but you calmed as soon as I..." He had been about to say 'as soon as I touched you,' but he had yet to reveal that he had done anything more than sit by his side - that he had stroked the grown man's hair and gazed over his face. "You were calmer when I was in the room," he amended. "So I started coming...more regularly." Every night. Every night for over two months.

"I do feel...rather embarrassed," he admitted. "I apologize. It was inappropriate of me to do this without your permission. I will stop if you find it 'creepy.'"

[dane brock evans]

Dane didn't want Mori to feel like that... Dane wasn't mad, nor did it truly think it was fully weird. Mori was all about helping people, and if he had realized this helped Dane, then he would have done it. He probably would have done it for anyone that was having nightmares. His nightmares stopped when Mori was in the room, yet he wanted to stop doing what he was doing, well. Dane couldn't have that, now could he. He had to change it. Definitely. He gave Mori a smile and then let his body react whatever way it wanted to, which seemed to not want Mori to leave either.

"Don't. Stay with me." Dane muttered with a smile on his face as reached out to grab Mori's hand in his own. Okay... this wasn't weird. It was just Mori. Dane had even cuddled with him before. This wasn't that weird or bad. "But don't... you don't have to stay in the chair. The bed's big enough. You need sleep too." Dane told him as he slowly walked back over to the bed and let go of Mori's hand so he could climb in the covers. He left them open though, and scooted over enough for Mori to lay down next to him. "I promise I don't bite when I sleep." Dane joked with him, hoping it would encourage him to lay down.

[Moriel Sarid]

He felt as if he were seeing this all through a fog, as if he were still asleep in that chair, fantasizing about things he shouldn't have. Dane took his hand and asked him to stay. surely this was a fantasy. So maybe Dane just didn't want the nightmares to come back. Still, to offer Moriel a place in his bed...he would be crossing a line, wouldn't he? Could he recover himself from that point? Moriel wished he had time to think this through properly, but he had to make a decision now.

"You don't...don't have to," he said softly, though he followed the man without resistance. "The chair is comfortable, and I've gotten on well enough..." Even as he spoke, Dane was making room for him in the bed. Moriel stared at the space allowed for him as if this were some great, life-altering decision. And in some respects, it did seem that way. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" he asked, knowing that his uncertainty would seem strange to someone who knew nothing of Mori's affections.

His mind was uncertain, but his body sat on the bed, pulled the covers over his lap - just in case. He was still in his dressing gown, thin pajamas beneath that, but any attempt to change his state of dress would have seemed too much, too pushy. He was already playing with fire.

[dane brock evans]

Dane probably shouldn't find the way Maori was acting hilarious yet strangely adorable. He supposed he didn't see any big reason for him to not want to sleep in the bed. It wasn't like it was weird. Was it? Dane had slept close to guys in tents and such for the war. That wasn't any different than Mori sleeping in his bed. If it kept the nightmares away, then it was worth something for Mori to sleep here.

When he finally sat down on the bed, Dane smiled and laughed. "Relax... it isn't a big deal. You're just sleeping in the same bed as a man. I know you had to of done this with your two lovers. Shouldn't be a big deal." Dane teased and pulled Mori so he was laying down before hesitantly leaning over and resting his head on Mori's chest and wrapping an arm around his middle. "Thank you... for everything." Dane really owed a lot to Mori and wasn't sure how he was going to repay everything Mori had done. He had known about the obvious stuff. But he hadn't known about this. It made Dane wonder how much Mori really worried and cared about him.

[Moriel Sarid]

The fact that Dane hadn't put two and two together here was a near miracle. He even brought up Mori's lovers, that he had done this with them, and his first instinct was to say, 'Yes, exactly!' Instead, he let out a nervous chuckle and nodded. "Yes. Sorry. I suppose I'm just caught...a bit off-guard. I'm making too much of it." Lying on the bed with Dane so close, he worried the man might hear his heart quicken at the contact. His arm slowly wrapped around so it rested on Dane's back.

For Dane to thank him after such a night truly boggled the mind. Moriel felt guilty, embarrassed, and - as Dane himself had said - creepy. He knew that admitting his feelings would clear his conscience some, but it would not help his friend. He didn't want him thinking that Mori was only helping out of attraction, no matter how often Mori worried that was secretly the case. He didn't want to leave Dane with no where else to go, didn't want to feel like he was taking advantage. And yet, here he was, inexplicably in bed with the man, who seemed to trust him utterly.

"There's nothing to thank me for," he whispered, and he meant it. He had tried to do something selfless and had instead managed to use it to get close to someone he had feelings for. Someone he shouldn't have feelings for. His brow creased in concern. What was he doing?

[dane brock evans]

Dane wasn't quite sure what he was going on about. Dane was slowly drifting off into a sort of sleep. He felt comfortable with Mori and he knew it wouldn't be long before he fell asleep. He cuddled into Mori more, not consciously, and closed his eyes. He could feel the breathing underneath his head and feel his heart beat. It sounded... soothing to his ears and made his own heart speed a little bit, although he wasn't entirely sure why that was so. Why was he doing this? Why was he so comfortable around Mori when he felt like everywhere else his world was falling apart.

"Still. Don't care if I have something to thank you for or not. Thank you. Now close your eyes. I'm tired." Dane muttered and nuzzled his head against Mori's chest in his half sleep daze. He felt himself relax and drift off into sleep, nightmares not even on his mind as he was held by probably the one person he trusted more than anyone in the world right now. When his mind fell asleep shortly, he was unconscious, yet still able to mutter the words "my angel" while a smile stretched on his face.

[Moriel Sarid]

This new turn of events did nothing to dissuade Moriel's affections, though he couldn't say he was entirely dissatisfied with it. On the plus side, he no longer needed to sneak naps all day, so he had much more time to devote to his studies and spending time with Dane and Angela. And the whole 'getting to sleep in a bed with Dane' thing was certainly not a negative. They fell into a routine. Dane would go to his room, Mori to his to change. He would go down to Dane's room and slide under the covers with him. Dane would snuggle against his side and the angel would fall asleep listening to the soft breathing of his companion.

A few weeks later, he had to wake up early for an exhausting series of meetings with his business managers and accountants. Sometimes he was tempted to just sell off all of his businesses and properties, but he knew he needed the financial security for the rest of eternity. Papercuts was hemorrhaging money, and they had urged him again to sell, to modify, to close it. And once again he'd had to tell them that Papercuts was an emotional asset, not a monetary one. It had been Reuben's labor of love, and he would not sell it for anything. The other businesses were making enough to compensate for any losses the bookstore created.

When he returned that evening, the angel was weary and frustrated. He hated quarreling over something so insignificant as money. His accountant was very good at his job, but money seemed to be all he cared for or understood. He set his hat on the coat hook by the door and kicked off his shoes like they'd done something to offend him. He rubbed at his temples and shook his head, looking up and spotting Dane on the couch.

"Business management is a terrible pain in the ass," he told him. "I don't recommend it for anyone that only needs money for one lifetime." With a tired smile, Mori rolled his shoulders and headed for the stairs. "I'm going to take a nap, I think."

Apparently, he was much more exhausted than he had expected, because his nap continued on well past his normal bedtime.